The Start Date

I have an official start date. It's October 1st. It's been set for quite a while now and was even officially approved at a meeting a few weeks ago. Though I still wish my start date would have come sooner after graduation, I think it's a good start date.

My first Sunday will be October 5th, which is World Communion Sunday. I think that celebration will be a great way to kick off a new season of ministry in the church.

But back to the start date. Right now I'm wondering, how realistic it is to not do anything until the start date. I know a minister has to have a start date. I've even discovered that the bueacracy of the denomination I serve likes ministers to start on the 1st or 15th of a month.

But when the start date is a little ways off, many things start to creep onto my platter. Like some emails about meetings being scheduled in October and the upcoming church newsletter and forthcoming church bulletins and new minister orientation in the area. Now obviously some things need to be planned ahead. But when I start receiving emails about things to attend and do, I feel like I've already started my job.

Part of it is my own doing. As one heading into a solo pastor position, the task of preaching every week will be daunting at first. So the other day I hauled out my lectionary calendar and the hymnals the church uses and started to look at what I'll be preaching from now until the end of the year.

But the start date, I think it's just when I'll officially start getting paid, because I've already started ministry to and with the congregation.

It's September and all's quiet on the blog front

It's been a month and a half since I've blogged and even before that I haven't been doing a really good job at keeping up with things here. There's a number of contributing factors:

• I've accepted a call to serve a church (yeah!) and have been very busy traveling around and attending meetings. I've also been trying to figure out what shape my blogging will take as I head into this call.
  
• I've moved home to live with my parents during this time of transitioning from student to pastor. My parents don't have wireless internet and I've had to share the family computer with internet with three other people.
• In the next month I will be ordained, move to another state, settle into a house, and start my work as a pastor. The amount of planning and number of details this entails is quite overwhelming.

So, until things slow down just a bit (wait ... that may not happen until after Christmas) or until I have a more steady source of internet, I'll end with this question:

What do I want people to call me? And will my preference even matter (as in people will call me whatever they are most comfortable with anyways)?

(and if you are so led to comment, please do not use any part of my real name)

Moving

There's been lots of movement in my life lately.

• My parents flew down on Wednesday and were in town until this morning for all of the graduation festivities.
• My apartment is empty; it echoes as I walk through it. The walls are dingy; the cupboards are bare. I sit on a borrowed end table that will be returned to its owner this afternoon. The majority of my possessions and all of my furniture is en route to the Midwest, to spend some time in my parents' basement.
• Yesterday I sat among classmates as we received our diplomas and hoods, moved our tassel from right to left, and recessed out of the church sanctuary as those having mastered all things divine.

And this is the right time for all of these movements to occur. Last year I could have been part of the graduating class, but this year was the right time for that walk across the stage.

Now, I pray for the Holy Spirit to move in the call process.

Falling In Love ...

Not with a person.
With a church.
With specific churches.

Churches that I had applied to.
Churches that I was really excited about because of their ministry and vision, the positions open and the people I had talked to.

And now I'm back at square one because it turns out that those churches are not where the Spirit is leading me. I gave myself a week off from the call process. I needed a break. I told myself I wouldn't get so excited about specific churches again because it led to too much disappointment. I told myself that I would be excited about the church universal because of some of the great things I've read and heard about specific churches and people doing, but I wouldn't get attached to a specific church.

But I've done it again.

As I read about churches who are searching for pastors, one in particular jumped out at me. I'm hoping my excitement about this specific church is the movement of the Holy Spirit.

This is bigger than me

I've been struggling with the call process recently ...

• doubting that the committee structure is a good one
• anxious about time and dates as graduation continues to creep ever nearer
• deeply saddened that a church I really felt called to has decided to discontinue our conversation

And so I practiced some good self-care; I went to the movies with a friend and laughed and laughed. Horton Hears A Who ... good stuff. Wonderful imaginary characters and, as it turns out, some deeply theological messages. From believing without seeing and hearing to acknowledging that there are things in the world bigger than we are, it was good all around.

There's nothing like a whole box of Junior Mints (right before dinner) and a "children's" cartoon movie to help make a gloomy day better.

And so I was reminded:
This is bigger than me. This is not bigger than God.

Vision

I'm in a season of phone interviews right now. I've been asked some really great questions by call committees. Most have forced me to really define who I am and what I'm looking for.

Others are more humorous (depending on your interpretation). Here's one of them:

What's your vision?

Now after the fact I wish I would have said 20/20. But really the question was vague. We had already talked about my call story, the church's history, and the Presbyterian church. Did they want to know about my vision for ministry? for my life? for the congregation? for the PCUSA? After getting clarification, I told them I couldn't see years and years into the future. The most I could do was seek where God is calling me now.

Five Years

Five years is a long time.

Lots can change in five years. One can finish high school or college in less than that. One can go from being an infant unable to hold up her own head to walking and running and writing her own name. One's family status can undergo many changes in five years.

Five years is a long time, but it's also really not that long.

Yet, it's the most I can think into the future right now. As I'm talking with churches and discerning where God is calling me post-seminary, I've been asking myself "Can I see myself in this particular community or that particular church for at least five years?" If I can answer "yes" to that question, I feel good about continuing in conversation with committees.

I was talking to one of my pastors about this question, and she said, "Emily, I hope your first call lasts longer than five years!"

It's not that I'm limiting my first call to only five years. It's just that I can't think in any larger terms. I haven't lived in a particular place longer than four years recently. I moved across the state for college, but that was only four years. I moved across the country for seminary, but that was only four years (plus one of the years was in a different state).

So for right now, the "five year question" remains on my mind.

The Point I'm At

Searching for a job can be a full time job in itself. The work of reading forms and initiating "dating" relationships with potential churches can be really invigorating, but it can also be so draining, exhausting, frustrating, etc.

Yet, I'd still rather be doing that than be a student. School is good; my elective is great; learning is important. I've just reached a point where I know that I'm not going to know it all when I leave and that's fine and I'm okay with that.

So I'd rather be in the church actually involved in ministry than stuck in a classroom at this point.

Update:
A timely reminder from the stamp I gave my kids at the Y today ...

I'm a star! This whole call process will work out.

Online Dating

I met with my Committee on Preparation for Ministry for the last time yesterday. And after some intense and not-so-intense questions regarding my sense of call, what I hope to do, my theology, my hospital experience, my yearlong internship, and my seminary journey ... they approved me to officially begin searching for a call.

Yippee!!!

Now I'm working on submitting all my paperwork online so things can get rolling, so the online dating between myself and churches may begin.

Done. And done.

I'm finally done. I've made it to the end of the semester. And this time it feels like quite the accomplishment.

I've survived an extended unit of CPE and even learned some things along the way:

• Nap early and often. You never know what will happen later on in your shift (just smooth out the pillowcase before laying down on it - it'll produce less sleep lines on your face that way).

• Hot fudge sundaes really do heal all manner of things (3pm or 3am - for this I was thankful that there was a McDonald's in the hospital, even though it seems quite contradictory).

• Laughter is excellent medicine (thank you to the Ellen show and funny kids' movies).
  

I've made it through another two classes - one that seemed pointless and one that was fun. By the way, writing a 20 page paper the week it's due is not necessarily smart, but it can be done.

I've even completed all of my paperwork for my last hoop before I start searching for a call. I really hope the committee reads all 42 pages of my packet, because it was a beast to put together during these past busy weeks.

And now I'm finally ready to be home (even though I've actually been in Michigan for the past five days).

I'm done and ready for the festivities and family, the food and fun.

(Not) Selling My Soul

I've been working on my PIF/resume as I look forward to the day when my preparation committee will approve that I can officially begin searching for a call. It was intimidating to begin the process. I was worried about selling my soul in order to just write things I know hiring committees will like.

However, I've finished the final draft of my PIF ... and it sounds like me. It's true to who I am and what I'm looking for in a church job.

Here's to the Holy Spirit working in the process so a church and I may find each other before graduation!