Vision

I'm in a season of phone interviews right now. I've been asked some really great questions by call committees. Most have forced me to really define who I am and what I'm looking for.

Others are more humorous (depending on your interpretation). Here's one of them:

What's your vision?

Now after the fact I wish I would have said 20/20. But really the question was vague. We had already talked about my call story, the church's history, and the Presbyterian church. Did they want to know about my vision for ministry? for my life? for the congregation? for the PCUSA? After getting clarification, I told them I couldn't see years and years into the future. The most I could do was seek where God is calling me now.

Entering Into Holy Week

This past Sunday I entered into Holy Week in a whole new way.

I'm part of a liturgical dance/movement choir at the church I attend in town. The church marked both Palm and Passion Sunday in worship. The first half of the service focused on Palm Sunday, complete with parade and processional with palms. The second half of the service, beginning with the second scripture reading and sermon, focused on Passion Sunday.

The scripture reading of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane was interpreted through dance - Jesus and the three disciples moving to the Taize chant "Stay with Me." The group had been working on the piece for a couple of weeks during short practices on Sunday afternoons. But the text didn't stay there. I've lived with the text running through my mind, my heart, and my body for two and a half weeks now. And Sunday when we were able to offer the dance in worship, I entered into Holy Week feeling the weight of desertion and shouldering a cross (literally - I danced the part of Jesus).

It's an experience I won't soon forget.

Five Years

Five years is a long time.

Lots can change in five years. One can finish high school or college in less than that. One can go from being an infant unable to hold up her own head to walking and running and writing her own name. One's family status can undergo many changes in five years.

Five years is a long time, but it's also really not that long.

Yet, it's the most I can think into the future right now. As I'm talking with churches and discerning where God is calling me post-seminary, I've been asking myself "Can I see myself in this particular community or that particular church for at least five years?" If I can answer "yes" to that question, I feel good about continuing in conversation with committees.

I was talking to one of my pastors about this question, and she said, "Emily, I hope your first call lasts longer than five years!"

It's not that I'm limiting my first call to only five years. It's just that I can't think in any larger terms. I haven't lived in a particular place longer than four years recently. I moved across the state for college, but that was only four years. I moved across the country for seminary, but that was only four years (plus one of the years was in a different state).

So for right now, the "five year question" remains on my mind.

Middle Name Meme

I don't always participate in all the memes that fly around the blog world. But I'm left with nothing much to say these days and little time to post (plus PS's middle name is similar to mine and was a great starting point), so here goes:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.

2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).

3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

J: I am a complete J on the Myers-Briggs scale. Organization and details ... I've got it beyond covered.

O: I am an optimistic person. Glass half-full, walking on the sunny side of the street, rose-colored glasses kind of gal.

A: I always have chocolate in my apartment. Especially dark chocolate. Mmmmm.

N: Needs a job ... seriously churches. I'm cool, I love ministry.

I'm not one to tag people, so if you want to play, do so.

The Point I'm At

Searching for a job can be a full time job in itself. The work of reading forms and initiating "dating" relationships with potential churches can be really invigorating, but it can also be so draining, exhausting, frustrating, etc.

Yet, I'd still rather be doing that than be a student. School is good; my elective is great; learning is important. I've just reached a point where I know that I'm not going to know it all when I leave and that's fine and I'm okay with that.

So I'd rather be in the church actually involved in ministry than stuck in a classroom at this point.

Update:
A timely reminder from the stamp I gave my kids at the Y today ...

I'm a star! This whole call process will work out.

Balance

I need balance in my life. I need to escape the seminary bubble and interact with people who don't spend all day in the classroom or the library studying God, theology, and things divine.

This semester I am getting that balance on Thursday afternoons. In the afternoon, I head over to the local YMCA and teach a dance and gymnastics class for 3-5 year olds. For an hour or so, I worry about somersaults and cartwheels, first position and plie.

I laugh as they tell me stories about nursery school or getting a shot; they laugh as I make silly faces at them on the balance beam; we all laugh together as we walk as crabs and bears across the mats.

And my life seems balanced again.

Like a Kid in a Candy Store

There are so many good options. They are all so tempting. I always end up spending more money than I had planned ... when I go in a bookstore, any bookstore.

I've been like a kid in a candy store three times this week:

• I bought books for a spirituality course I'm taking in March
• I bought books for my final semester of seminary
• I bought books for fun fiction reading

And my shelves are full of new books. I can't wait to crack each new cover. Well, I won't actually crack each new cover, as I like my books to stay in excellent condition. So perhaps it's more accurate to say I can't wait to open each new book and delve into its pages.



Ahhhh .... heaven.

Rhythms of Grace

"Are you tired? Worn out? ... Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace ... " Matthew 11:28-30, The Message

I am passionate about the practice of Sabbath. It's an important spiritual discipline in my life. It first started when I was in college and I struggled with feeling defined by the things that I did (mainly school work, studying and such). I started practicing Sabbath to remember who I was ... a child of God; a daughter and a sister; a friend; a person who could just be and the world wouldn't stop.

I've continued to observe Sabbath over the years, though in many different ways. It changes as my life changes and my schedule and my work dictate new times and days and ways of observing Sabbath. Sometimes it's been the whole of Sunday or part of Saturday or a day in the middle of the week. At times it has meant that I don't do homework or study, or I don't run errands, or I just do the things I really want to do, or I spend time being in relationship with God, friends, and family.

But regardless of how it manifests itself, I continue to practice Sabbath, because I need that reminder of who I am.

Lately, however, I've had an overabundance of free time, of downtime, of opportunities to practice Sabbath. In these two weeks between the end of Jan term and the start of spring semester, I've got a whole lot of time. And at first it was really good. I spend time doing lots of things I often run out of time for:

• I've been to the movies with friends ... twice
• I've been out to eat with friends ... multiple times
• I've watched movies on my couch ... five and counting
• I've finished two knitting projects and started two new ones
• I've slept in late and relaxed
• I've read and read and read ... completing four books with three more in the works

and I've become bored with this abundance of time. I've still got half a week until classes start up again.

And I'm wondering about the practice of Sabbath: What about those six days of work? How does not having that change the unforced rhythms of grace? What's the distinction between Sabbath and free time?

Snow Came Down in the South!

It snowed! And I loved it. It reminded me of winters further north, albeit with much more snow than the light dusting outside. But still, it was snow!

I stood outside in the big flakes. I tried to catch some on my tongue. I kept the blinds open all night so I could watch the snow fall. I soaked it up for all it was worth.

I laughed at the news reports and those who were freaking out. Then the next day, it was all gone.

But while it lasted, it was beautiful. I really am a northern girl at heart.

Online Dating

I met with my Committee on Preparation for Ministry for the last time yesterday. And after some intense and not-so-intense questions regarding my sense of call, what I hope to do, my theology, my hospital experience, my yearlong internship, and my seminary journey ... they approved me to officially begin searching for a call.

Yippee!!!

Now I'm working on submitting all my paperwork online so things can get rolling, so the online dating between myself and churches may begin.