Memorial Services

The pastor and I faced a dilemma at the end of January. A longtime member of the church, Mrs T, died suddenly at the age of 98. She was in relatively good health; she had only just started to use a walker; she was living on her own in a retirement community.

As the pastor contacted family members (she only had a couple living relatives), we found out that Mrs T had told them she didn't want a funeral or memorial service. None of this was in writing and she had never told the pastor or any church member of this wish. The family had her cremated and did not wish for anything else to occur.

However, the retirement community at which Mrs T lived is where about 20 of our 100 members live. They were upset at Mrs T's sudden death and kept asking about when the memorial service would be.

The pastor and I felt we couldn't make the decision ourselves about what to do. We presented it to the session during session training at the beginning of February. They voted to celebrate the life of Mrs T and bear witness to the resurrection in worship on February 18th. This would offer a means of closure to the church family, who needs it, but still try to honor the family's wishes and Mrs T's apparent wishes.

Anyone have any other thoughts on how to handle such a situation?