Mississippi in July

Some fun on a hot day:

You know you are in Mississippi in July when ...

• The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
• You discover that in July it only takes two fingers to steer your car.
• You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 in the morning.
  
• The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
  
• Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  
• You can make sun tea instantly.
  
• The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• The trees are whistling for the dogs.

I now realize why Southerners move at a slower pace - it's required by the temperature.